The International Foundation for Gender Education

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.



We?re happy to welcome therapist Arlene Istar Lev?known informally as Ari?to our roster of columnists.?Ed.





Dear Ari,

I?m a 35-year-old transgendered person with a problem. I?ve told everyone in my family about my plans, and all have taken it remarkably well. This includes my spouse, whom I deeply love, and who has known about me since before we were wed. The problem now is deciding how to tell our five-year-old daughter. Any
suggestions would be sincerely appreciated.

??Ready to Tell?

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.



by Li Anne W. Taft



Giving All the Right Answers

When body features, voice, and personal history don?t quite match, curious others often want to know more than transgendered men and women are willing to tell.



?This is Hina from the bank loan department. Does a William E. Taft live there?? I nearly dropped the phone?it?s been six years since anyone used my old ?male? name. Since I enjoyed a friendly relationship with people at my local bank, I was determined to keep news of my gender change from them to defend against possible stink eye and whispers. ?No, why do you ask?? I responded. ?Well,? Hina continued, ?we have a William Taft on your customer record with your social security number.? Without hesitation, I informed her, ?There is no William Taft here? we?re separated. I got that man out of my life.? ?Oh, I?m so sorry?we?ll change your records,? Hina said apologetically. Hanging up, I felt a bit devilish, but glad I had been open about my past without being ?too? revealing.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.



Kudos on a powerful presentation of valuable resources (Tapestry #101). This material will be a tremendous aid to many. The only shortfall is the shelf life of printed material. Please consider creating a web presence to permanently enshrine this material. Over time it would draw an increasing number of people to your web site. Congratulations again.

-Rachel M



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I just received Transgender Tapestry #101. Not only is it the
best TG/TAP I?ve ever seen, but
it is the best transgender community publication?of any kind?that I have ever seen!!!
You, your staff, and your contributors should all be very
proud. Congratulations.

-Divinity

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.



by Maxwell Anderson Robert



Allen Eads was born December 18, 1945, in a tiny no-nothing of a town in West Virginia. The middle child of three, he had an older and a younger brother. Until the day he died, his mother called him Bobby.



Robert himself used many names. When I met him, he called himself Bob. At times he used Ray, and for those hillbilly times, he called himself Ray-Bob. As he matured, Robert became his name of choice.
Robert grew up poor, as did most in West Virginia at that time, but this didn?t necessarily mean he was unhappy. He
wasn?t. There were rough times, of course, but all-in-all, he was loved and cared for. His mother was a stay-at-home mom, and since Robert was a ?she? growing up, the bond was strong between them. Although his mother had difficulty with the transition to Robert, she continued to love him, and is with him now, since her death in the early part of 2001.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.

by Diana Hignutt



Gaius Marcus Pilate was as nervous as he had been in his entire sixteen years of existence. His heart beat furiously as he made his way through the bustling streets. His young face was flush from the excitement and his breaths alternated between short, shallow, and hyperventilation. He was aware that he was out of place in the seedy section of Jerusalem through which he walked. His rich, Roman robes were in stark contrast to the clothing of the other passersby. He hoped no Centurion would take particular notice of him. He most definitely didn?t want to have to explain this to his father. He wouldn?t understand. No one would.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.

written by and photographs by Mariette Pathy Allen



Many of our readers will know Southern Comfort is an annual conference held every September-October in Atlanta, Georgia. Now in its 12th year, SCC, or SoCo, as it is variously called, routinely draws more than 500 attendees. Robert Eads loved SCC. He was there at its inception, and attended every year of his life. It?s fitting that Kate Davis chose to name her film, which tracks Robert?s last months, as he was dying of ovarian cancer, after the conference he loved so well.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.

Review by Christine Beatty



Sex sells. That tenet is a mainstay of modern marketing. For decades everything from toothpaste to new cars have
been marketed using the suggestion of sex. And sexologist
J. Michael Bailey?s new book, The Man Who Would be Queen: The Science of Gender Bending and Transsexualism, is a glaring
example. Combine lurid sexual description with some fact, with controversial research done a decade or more prior, with long-debunked stereotypes and with the author?s smug assurance, and you have Bailey?s book. And while it should be easy to dismiss it as sensationalized exploitation, in reality it is dangerous to the entire transgender community, and especially to transsexual people.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.

Originally appeared in Transgender Tapestry #103, Fall 2003.



by Miqqi Alicia Gilbert



It?s fascinating to sit in an outdoor caf? or pub and watch the people stroll by. It?s just amazing how they vary in height, weight, width, facial shape, body configuration, skin color, eye shape, hair color and quantity, and on and on. Think how rarely we confuse people, how unusual it is to mistake one person for another. It?s so rare that when it happens we?re struck by it, and wonder at the similarity, at how one person can look so much like another. Even when people are the same height and weight, even when they have the same measurements, we know they?re different. This is because there?s an infinite number of variations among people, and when we take them all together those infinite combinations result in individual uniqueness.